Dear Noble Reader,

I began a Soul Art Tribe Spirit Guide journey on April 27, 2024, and I am now completing that journey. It is remarkable that in this 4-month period of time my love relationship and my family have completely dissolved. In fact, you might see it as odd that I am writing and posting this one week before I am moving out of my family home, a time when I’m crazy busy with moving. But I feel strong and grounded dedication to this soul journey, and that is why I’m sharing this now.

My purpose here is to send out a signal light to my true tribe. I’m looking for spiritual tribe with common enough practices that we can share practice together AND people who resonate with clear justice, healthy relational dynamics, and the intelligence to weed through messy relational situations and discern true balance. I want to find my flock of birds.

I’m seeking people who honour and uphold values similar to mine around relationship. These relational values I hold dearly in my heart, and these values I will be sharing with you in this blog. So if what I’m sharing here resonates with you, I would like to hear from you! Let’s connect so we can create a space, a community – what I am calling a “Dakini Land.”

In the following sections of this blog I will share (1) my motivation, (2) my Soul Art journey, and (3) the elements of healthy connection that I love.

MY MOTIVATION

Through the course of my learning as an adult I have come across some relationship approaches that strongly resonate with me, such as that of the feminists at the the Stone Center at Wellesley College, Marshall Rosenberg, Bruce Tift and the Shambhala teachings on warriorship. 

I appreciate the Wellesley researchers’ approach to women growing in connection. We do indeed grow so much in relationships! But they need to be healthy relationships, not degrading and abusive relationships. We need to be able to understand and be able to communicate in the language of needs, as Rosenberg taught. And when we have conflict, we need healthy ways of being in conflict. I love Tift’s view that our feminine side is adept at building relationships and our masculine side is adept at dealing with conflict; specifically he sees conflict as a time when we need to see the difference in our perspectives, and not blur that just to make peace. He advocates dealing with conflict with an openness and heartfelt way that firmly honours our differences. All of these sources of wisdom speak of the importance of having good boundaries. 

I want to bring together the best of what I’ve learned in the mother tradition of building bridges and the father tradition for boundaries and conflict. And I want to bring people together around that “best”, and further my values with complementary approaches to healthy relationship that others may bring into this new community, Dakini Land.

This is coming from a deep longing in me. I am longing for an enlightened tribe to connect with and this will help fuel my work with people in the world.

I see the experience of this tribe as wholesome, intelligent and aware. And also with spiffy energy like I’ve come to know from my Shambhala warrior practices (which I will speak of a little further down). This tribe has the skills to create deep connection, deep and life-affirming conversations and discussions. They value seeing and being seen, hearing and being heard, understanding and being understood. They desire to do spiritual practice together, including setting intentions to heal the world and support our work in the world.

This tribe will give places/spaces to work through life challenges, integrate experiences, get new ideas, and be exposed to diverse approaches to doing relationship. It will offer a deep sense of connection. A place to be seen and appreciated in your unique brilliance. A place to grow confidence and mastery. This community lends itself to it’s members having rich and vibrant spiritual practices, alive and with purpose. Pent up heart energy will find release in fulfilled purpose. Members enjoy being in their blazing colours with joy!

MY SOUL ART JOURNEY

My Tribe Spirit Guide Soul Art

Core Intention: Connection

Tribe Spirit Guide Intention: Ignite the qualities of my ideal Dakini Tribe within me.

Key Insight: The connection my heart longs for is precious, protect it like a small flame. Feed it so it can grow into a great bonfire – a signal to the dakinis of your tribe.

The core intention for my Soul Art Journey has been, “Connection.” The intention specific to my Tribe Spirit Guide has been, “Ignite the qualities of my ideal Dakini tribe within me.”

For those who are not familiar with the term, Dakini, here is an explanation from the Tara Mandala website (https://www.taramandala.org/teachings/what-is-a-dakini/):

“Dakini in Sanskrit, Khandro in Tibetan, literally means “sky dweller” or “sky dancer,” and is the most sacred aspect of the feminine principle in Tibetan Buddhism, embodying both humanity and divinity in feminine form.

Dakinis may appear differently in various contexts; when needed, she may appear as fierce and intense or playful and nurturing. At other times she may appear outrageous or repulsive in order to cut through conceptual thinking and mistaken perception. She may appear as a human being, as a goddess, either peaceful or wrathful, or she may be perceived as the general play of energy in the phenomenal world.

In general, the dakini represents the ever-changing flow of energy with which the yogic practitioner must work in order to become realized. Ultimately, all women are seen as some kind of dakini manifestation.“

I am seeking to establish a community, a place, a land for dakinis who resonate with what I’m sharing here.

Stream-of-consciousness reflections on my Soul Art

The art: The ear, the eye, blazing heart that is fully intact! Winds of Karma sweeping up – the momentum is there. The bright yellow sun – no darkness. It is pure, sunshine yellow, Archangel Fhelyai. The sword in the center of the heart is bold, steady, sharp, indestructible, inscrutable. The green heart resonates with the winds of karma, representing Marshall Rosenberg – needs based resolutions, where you and I are both seen and heard. No obstructions! The eye is clear. The rabbit’s heart is pure and clear. I called in unicorns. HEALER [my personal unicorn] is part of this creation. I can TRUST that! The rabbit is the pure heart dakinis who have been ravaged. The purity of Archangel Fhelyai allows them to come.

My process: I was aware of the pressed, awkward feeling. I found my way to relaxing and smoothing harsh edges and filling in the rabbit, karma winds and the main heart. I realized it is important for the main blazing heart to feel good inside. Fulfilled. There were the key elements – eye to see, ear to hear, heart to discern and uphold needs, and the sword of justice that knows boundaries and right from wrong. There was also the need for human warmth, compassion, kindness. A fullness was needed. There is space, the whiteness. And there is the lovely mixtures that bring colours together and lend a feeling of fullness. I like mixing colours – relational connection. And I like coherence – meaning, message.

What feels most important: 

• The heart – blazing, skillful means, warmth, fullness – coherent and free of all darkness. 
• The purity and harmlessness (Archangel Fhelyai) that brings the sacred rabbit – pure gentleness, softness. 
• The winds of karma – it’s not me doing this. Karmic circumstances are unfolding.

Art reflection summary

I chose two angel cards, two dragon cards and a unicorn card to hold sacred space for the Soul Art painting and my process for the past four months. I deeply value coherence, and that is what this tribe is about. My Soul Art showed me that the winds of karma support the gathering of this tribe at this time, and that karmic circumstances are now unfolding for this tribe gathering.

I will now share about the elements of healthy connection that I love, and that have been further born in me over these past four months.

THE ELEMENTS OF HEALTHY CONNECTION THAT I LOVE

Women’s Growth In Connection, The Stone Center at Wellesley College

These feminist researchers challenge male-centered developmental models based in individuation (i.e. growing through separating). Rather than through separating from our mother, they suggest that we instead grow within relationships. 

They define a healthy, empowering relationship as one where people are seen and they actively care for the relational connection. It is through the dynamic of a good relationship that our qualities, talents and ability to love grow.

Marshall Rosenberg

What speaks to me most deeply from Rosenberg’s teachings is his emphasis on how important it is to uncover needs. Rather than fighting at the head level, he advocates for understanding our own needs and actively eliciting the needs of others. Relating with the needs in any situation transports us into a space of care and working towards meeting needs, rather than control, manipulation, abuse or violence.

Bruce Tift

What I received from studying Tift’s work is that we all have a feminine mode and a masculine mode. The feminine mode is about cultivating connection. Of note, the feminine mode is not the correct mode when we are in conflict; things can get blurred and messy when we are focused on creating connection in the middle of a conflict. Instead, it is important to be able to hold space for each individual having their own needs and point of view. He proposes a healthy masculine approach to conflict that includes having an open heart and care, while at the same time firmly holding space for each person’s needs – even if holding this individual space is a bit uncomfortable.

Shambhala warriorship

My approach to enlightened relationships would not be complete without including what I learned from the teachings and practices of Shambhala Warriorship. Shambhala speaks about “drala”, or “energy above aggression.” This has been an important energy for me to connect with, especially for going through the most difficult times in my life! (Like Buddhist Project Sunshine.)

It is easy in our world to get depressed, overwhelmed and to lose our sense of dignity. When we feel oppressed or overwhelmed, it can be easy to let go of our standards, either slightly or all together. We can also become overwrought with anger. All of these are signs of lowering the vibration of our energy, and it leads to greater misery for ourselves and others.

Drala is a way to connect with higher vibration energies and a sense of empowerment for meeting life’s challenges as warriors. By warrior, I mean people who have the courage to face dark circumstances and bring light to them. Dralas help us reconnect with a sense of spiffiness and empowerment to bring our most loving heart and deepest courage into dark places. Drala gives us precision, clarity and warmth that can uplift us in any situation.

CONCLUSION

Thank you for taking the time to read my “Dakini Land Manifesto” to attract my tribe. If you resonate with it, I’d like to hear from you. If you know of someone who might enjoy what I wrote here, I’d be grateful if you would forward this to them. I invite your comments below. Namaste 🙏🏻