When you are at your wit’s end and ready to throw in the towel in a conflict, how can you deal with it constructively?
We have been exploring the Heart Chakra, the source and home for the energy of Love. Probably the most common reason our heart shuts down is from getting hurt. We could have a raging fight with someone, or cold distance can creep into a relationship draining the life. Both result in shutting down and losing the feeling of Love.
Today I’d like for us to have a discussion specifically around what we can do when we are in the midst of a conflict and are so hopeless and frustrated that we are ready to walk away from the relationship.
I recently took my first Non-violent Communication Course with a teacher out in Berkley, California, Marina Smirling. I put this very question to her, “What can we do in moments of wanting to throw in the towel?” Her response was imbued with a wisdom that can open the door to a whole new way of living intimacy. I have simplified her process even further so that it is clear and doable in three steps:
First, acknowledge, “Oh my God! Whoa am I triggered!”
Next, have mercy for your humanity in this difficult situation. Physically put your hand on your heart and say the word, “mercy.”
Finally, figure out a time in your schedule when you can quietly sit down with yourself and proactively attend to the needs of the situation.
This simple method can be done in 60 seconds. It is a way of moving out of the space of reactivity so that we are not doing harm either to ourselves or the other person. And it creates an appointment in the near future where we can approach the situation from a place of spaciousness and clarity – an authentic space of inquiry.
If you have a habit of getting so angry that you blow a fuse, this simple practice will be a life changer for you. You will develop the ability to deal far better with conflict, which strengthens your trust in yourself, and others will come to trust you more too! It will open the flow of Love, both for yourself and with the people you care about.
If this touches you, please share your thoughts, reflections and questions in this discussion space below. Let’s dig into this together!
If we want to live with more love, we need to look at the foundational importance of self-care – caring for ourselves – so that our cup is full and overflowing.
I think we have all had the experience of running on an empty emotional tank. And like heroes we over-extend ourselves to take care of others.
It is utterly draining! It can cause serious physical disease, depression and anxiety. And, unfortunately, this is all too common an experience in today’s society.
Let’s understand the nature of the beast and what we can do to fill our cup with joy and love.
Historical role of women
It is worth looking at the socialization we inherited as women. Sensitive, caring men will also relate with this experience.
Women have been socialized to care for others, putting the needs of others first. We were told we are “bad” or “wrong” to take care of ourselves – it’s “selfish”!
We internalize these negative messages and live them out in our daily decisions. In this way we create a life structured around denying our needs.
This leads to situations of running on empty – our tank is empty, and yet we keep giving to others. It saps our life force.
What is the cost of sacrificing your self-care?
It can be a healthy step to acknowledge the cost of ignoring your needs. If you feel motivated to engage your own process of healing here today, there is a space below where you can share your answers to these questions.
What is the cost of sacrificing your self-care…
To your health?
To your relationships?
To your work and your financial well-being?
Most tragically, living life from a depleted state sabotages our ability to fulfill our life purpose. We literally don’t have the energy or mind space to attend to what is truly important.
No wonder people get sick and depressed!
Contrast – Empty vs Full
It literally feels good to take care of yourself. You feel worthwhile – worthy of care. You feel attended to, rather than giving up and letting the things that are important to you slide off your own plate.
When you take care of your well-being, then you have a rich reservoir from which to give to others. When you live with a full tank, you are empowered to know your personal truth – your life mission – and to live life with vibrant, healthy gusto!
Begin living with a full tank
Today’s post is about empowering you with awareness to help shift into more authentic care for yourself. I want to inspire you to organize your life in slightly different ways – ways that attend and nurture your well-being.
Try shifting just one thing in the next week. What is one small thing you can do to care for yourself over the next week? This is a powerful way to shift the scale to weigh in on the side of Love and Joy.
Please join me in this important discussion by sharing your thoughts and experience with self-care below. What are the costs for neglecting your self-care? What small thing are you going to try in the next week to shift the balance towards self-care?
And watch for my email next week with an exercise for your Heart Chakra to fill your cup with loving joy!
Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. ~ Steve Jobs, Co-founder of Apple
Steve Jobs is one of the greatest examples of someone attuned to their purpose. He knew what was important to him. He made tough decisions, that sometimes disappointed people in his life. He broke barrier after barrier of what people thought was impossible.
And by the end of his life? Steve Jobs dramatically improved the quality of life for people all over the world. Computers have become part of almost every aspect of human life, and Jobs’ elegant, playful and usable design brings gentleness and goodness through our interactions with all computers. (PC copied many of the Apple’s usability ideas ~ they were good ideas!)
So what does it take to get *that* deeply connected with your purpose? The health of your Solar Plexus Chakra is fundamentally tied to the answer.
The Solar Plexus is the seat of your will. With a healthy Solar Plexus Chakra you will be deeply connected with your personal values, and this empowers you to think decisively and take action! We call it will power.
Today is the Summer Solstice. The longest day of the year. The day with the greatest exposure to the light of the sun.
Sunlight carries prana, or Life Force Energy. The Solar Plexus is the energy centre in our body that specifically receives prana. It receives prana and disperses that Life Force Energy throughout the body, energizing your entire system.
Therefore today is the pinnacle day to consciously connect with your Solar Plexus and open yourself to receiving the gift of prana that is available today.
The Solar Plexus is located below your rib cage and above your belly button. Gently meditating on this area today, bringing attention, curiosity and love can yield surprising results. Be open to it!
Imagine deeply listening to your truth – to what is important to you. Imagine all the outside voices that lead you away from your truth – imagine these voices fading away into the background so that your truth can beat like a steady heartbeat. Bah bum…. bah bum… bah bum…
Imagine your body filling with warm sunlight energy, filling all those dark empty unattended spaces within you. Imagine filling up with love and gentleness and goodness today. Imagine the *feeling* in your body that your deepest, most heartfelt dreams are possible.
All of this is available! And this one simply meditation today can transform your life. I don’t know how to emphasize this strongly enough: When you are connected with your truth in a solid, grounded and human way, you can move mountains.
Steve Jobs is a beautiful example of this!
June is the month of the Summer Solstice – it is the month of Sun power. In honour of this I am bringing attention to the Solar Plexus Chakra, the connection with Sun power within our body system. The Solar Plexus Chakra receives prana, or Life Force Energy, from the Sun and disperses it throughout our body system. This energy heals our bodies and our minds, and naturally extends to creating more powerfully within our lives.
As I’ve been doing extensive study, I came across an interesting article that I’m choosing to share in this week’s newsletter. I hope you will find it juicy with new understandings of this important Chakra, and how to attend to the health of yours!
Manipura
Article from http://www.oneworldhealing.net/chakra-healing/manipura/
Also known as the Solar-plexus or 3rd chakra, the Manipura is located just above the naval and below the rib cage. It is our energy center and it radiates vital life energy (prana) through-out our entire body. It is where our Will Power comes from; our ability to achieve, self-esteem, raw emotions, and self-discipline are all governed by the Manipura. It is where we can have a mental understanding of our emotional self.
The Manipura not only governs the emotional and mental aspect of your psyche but also your psychic experiences. Often a feeling of intuition or “gut feeling” in a certain situation will benefit you greatly if you listen to it. All aspects of the digestive tract, including the assimilation of nutrients are controlled by the 3rd Chakra.
When this Chakra is in balance you will be in complete control over your emotions and thoughts. Your ego mind, or small mind will have no unwanted influence over your actions.You will know without a doubt, and accept your place in the Universe, have self-love and, in turn, have a great appreciation for all the people in your life and the uniqueness that they bring to world. When in tune, your Solar-plexus will radiate warmth and joy through-out your entire being, and to others who come into contact with you.
Over-active Solar-plexus Chakra
If your chakra is over-active you may be judgemental or critical – and you will easily find fault in others. You may be demanding and have extreme emotional problems, being very rigid or stubborn (it’s either your way or no way). Often anger, or aggressiveness result from an over-active chakra. You may always be planning to do things, but never doing, and your work or interests become a priority over things you have to do (a workaholic). You may also be a perfectionist and can’t settle on something that is already good enough, it always has to be better.
Under-active Solar-plexus Chakra
If this chakra is under active it can cause severe emotional problems. You may have a lot of doubt and mistrust towards the people in your life, and worry too much about what other people might think about you. You may also run on “auto pilot” avoiding your feelings of depression or anxiety; you may feel afraid or alone when you start to look at what you have been avoiding. You also may feel that you are not good enough and be seeking a constant approval of others, this can lead to a need, or dependency on the people in your life.
Physical Symptoms of a Solar-plexus imbalance: Poor digestion, weight problems, ulcers, diabetes, hypoglycemia, hyperglycemia, arthritis, pacreas, liver or kidney problems, anorexia, bulimia, hepatitis, intestinal tumours, colon disease.
Healing the Manipura
There are many ways one can begin to balance their Chakras. Below you will find several useful methods; including colour, nature and sound therapy.
Affirmation for the Solar-plexus: I am confident in all that I do. I am successful and release my creative energy into this Reality, effortlessly.
Colour of the Solar-plexus: The manipura is associated with the colour yellow. Picturing a beautiful yellow sunflower where the chakra is located can have an instant affect. Yellow Candles or surrounding yourself with pictures of yellow things can begin to bring this chakra into balance. You will feel a warm glowing from the Manipura when this begins to happen!
Organs/Glands governed by the Solar-plexus: Large Intestine, Stomach, Digestive System, Adrenal Glands, Pancreas, Liver, Lungs.
Crystal Therapy for the Solar-plexus: Malachite, Jasper, Tiger’s Eye, Citrine, Yellow Tourmaline, Golden Berly, Rhodochrosite
Nutrition for the Solar-plexus: Bananas, granola, and grains such as bread, pasta, rice, flax, sunflower seeds. Dairy such as cheese and yogurt, and spices that include ginger, melissa, chamomile, turmeric, cummin and fennel and mint.
Aromatherapy/Essential Oils for the Solar-plexus: Rose, rosewood, sandalwood, chamomile, rosemary, myrrh, frankincense.
Healing the Solar-plexus with Nature: The Solarplexus’ Element is Fire. Taking a walk out in the sun is extremely beneficial. Sitting in front of a camp fire, or fire place can have an instant healing effect.
Sound Therapy for the Solar-plexus: The note “E” is what the manipura vibrates to; Chanting RA, in “E” will begin to bring the chakra into balance!
Interested in activating your Solar Plexus Chakra?
Have your own personal Skype Solar Plexus Chakra Soul Art Session!
Email me to learn more
The Solar Plexus Chakra is where you experience strength of character, learning and comprehension. When healthy, it guides you through life by creating a strong sense of self, setting personal boundaries and building self esteem. The seat of authentic willpower, this Chakra is the source of your ability to bring change into your life and to the world.
Chakras are energy centers within your body that govern your physical health, emotional well-being, and the kind of life you are creating.
The Solar Plexus Chakra is associated with the color yellow and is located between your naval and the base of your sternum. It is said that the function of this Chakra is to absorb and assimilate life-force energy from the Sun. The Solar Plexus then radiates this life-force energy throughout your entire physical body.
What does this look like in your life experience?
The energy of this Chakra is about personal power, self esteem, feeling centered, creativity, and ultimately your ability to manifest things in your life. When flowing well, your Solar Plexus will radiate warmth and joy through-out your entire being, and to others who come into contact with you.
Your Solar Plexus Chakra is home for your personal core values. When this Chakra is thriving, you’ll feel clear about your values and enjoy the opportunity to express them through your actions. An empowered Solar Plexus Chakra creates magnetism through your being aligned with your personal core values.
Improving energy flow to the Solar Plexus may clear problems related with feeling lack and limitation. This is a powerful way to improve your finances… this Chakra’s magnetic energy, grounded in your core values, helps you to manifest money.
You can probably already see that a healthy Solar Plexus Chakra and being well-grounded in your values is key to manifesting other things too, such as good health, better relationships, self-esteem, talents and abilities.
The journey of the Solar Plexus Chakra is the journey of discovering, claiming and cultivating your own personal power. It is a journey of assuming full ownership for your own life experience and connecting with people from this empowered position. The promise of the Solar Plexus Chakra is empowerment, integrity, self-respect and joy… all leading to your creating vibrant relationships, radiant health, and financial abundance.
The human nervous system is a network connecting the sensory organs to the brain. Chakras are energy centers which act as a “pump” to direct spiritual energy through this system. For example, Earth energy is drawn up through your Root Chakra and passed to the Sacral Chakra which is then passed to the Solar Plexus, then the heart, then throat, brow, and finally the crown. Once energy reaches beyond the crown, experiences and sensations move to realms beyond explanation.
Chakras manage the flow of energy for various aspects of your emotional life, your physical health, your relationship dynamics, your career success, your spiritual connection, your creative flow and your overall sense of well being. In several ways, the Chakras are the most important thing to develop.
When your Chakras are healthy and thriving, your life flows with a relaxed invigoration, you feel aligned with your unique path and purpose and you have the energy to follow through on your clear dreams with joy while feeling an abundance of love and support along the way.
When your Chakras are closed, blocked or energetically dented in some way, you’ll feel the effects dramatically in your life. For example, if your Throat Chakra is closed or wounded you may feel constriction in your throat so that you don’t speak when you want to. There can be a deep fear of expressing yourself and being judged for your ideas. On the flip side, you may speak in ways you don’t like, such as with harshness and judgement of others. You may keep to yourself rather than allowing your energy to circulate out into the world. Eating can become an out of control habit to try to take energy in, to make up for the inability to let energy out or from the distress of holding your Truth in without speaking it aloud.
The Chakra system is considered by many to be the most important system to work with because it is the base energy from which we create our lives. A fundamental step on your spiritual path is to learn how to support the Chakras to align with your highest vision; this guides you in how to live every aspect of your life including relationships, health and career. This reduces anxiety and stress and increases inspiration and motivation to create a life based on love and joy.
Learn how to communicate and work with your chakras in Chakra Soul Art
